Then, I got into my car and began to drive away from a potential home for my family, I again asked the Lord to make His will known to me. “Make it clear Lord! Is this the place You desire for us to go?”
Did you notice I asked God to make it clear?
I prayed all afternoon, repeatedly asking God to make His desires for my family clear.
So why on earth is it that when God answered my prayers with a heart (and a stomach) filled with unrest did I feel so horrible?
In my heart, I knew God was speaking, and I was content with His answer. Content until guilt started to creep its way into my mind.
Then, over and over again I felt guilty for inconveniencing our friend who is our real estate agent. Guilty of wasting other people’s time. And even more guilty for falling in love with the home. Finally, I found myself feeling guilty for God saying no.
Why on earth should I feel guilty?
I had been obedient to God’s word. I repeatedly asked God to give me direction, and He did! He answered my prayer and He opened the door to what I needed.
After a good cry (yes I am one of those women who cries when stressed) and a heart to heart with my family, God whispered into my heart; “Tonya, guilt does not come from Me.”
Can someone say “Ouch”! That was a toe-crushing realization! How many times to do I tell women to whom I minister that guilt does not come from God? How many times?
And there I was, sitting in a puddle of guilt.
Suddenly, God settled my heart and my stomach with beautiful peace and a dose of divine reality. Whether He answers my prayers with what I hoped for or even anticipated does not matter because what God seeks is my obedience, not my agreement.
Yes, I may have inconvenienced some people, but that’s ok. They know my heart. They see the desire I have to abide by God’s plans and to seek His guidance. And in all reality, I wasn’t wasting time. Instead, I was demonstrating the very behavior God calls me to exhibit; trust in Him and obedience to His call.
So Satan, as for that guilt bomb you tossed at me? You know what you can do? Go sit on a cactus Satan! I have no time for you!