Sit on a Cactus Satan

There I stood praying; asking God to show me His will and to make my path clear.

Then, I got into my car and began to drive away from a potential home for my family, I again asked the Lord to make His will known to me. “Make it clear Lord! Is this the place You desire for us to go?”

Did you notice I asked God to make it clear?

I prayed all afternoon, repeatedly asking God to make His desires for my family clear.

So why on earth is it that when God answered my prayers with a heart (and a stomach) filled with unrest did I feel so horrible?

In my heart, I knew God was speaking, and I was content with His answer. Content until guilt started to creep its way into my mind.

Then, over and over again I felt guilty for inconveniencing our friend who is our real estate agent. Guilty of wasting other people’s time. And even more guilty for falling in love with the home. Finally, I found myself feeling guilty for God saying no.

Why on earth should I feel guilty?

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7 NLT

I had been obedient to God’s word. I repeatedly asked God to give me direction, and He did! He answered my prayer and He opened the door to what I needed.

After a good cry (yes I am one of those women who cries when stressed) and a heart to heart with my family, God whispered into my heart; “Tonya, guilt does not come from Me.”

Can someone say “Ouch”! That was a toe-crushing realization! How many times to do I tell women to whom I minister that guilt does not come from God? How many times?

And there I was, sitting in a puddle of guilt.

Suddenly, God settled my heart and my stomach with beautiful peace and a dose of divine reality. Whether He answers my prayers with what I hoped for or even anticipated does not matter because what God seeks is my obedience, not my agreement.

Yes, I may have inconvenienced some people, but that’s ok. They know my heart. They see the desire I have to abide by God’s plans and to seek His guidance. And in all reality, I wasn’t wasting time. Instead, I was demonstrating the very behavior God calls me to exhibit; trust in Him and obedience to His call.

So Satan, as for that guilt bomb you tossed at me? You know what you can do? Go sit on a cactus Satan! I have no time for you!